Mightier than the Sword
From Tired to Wired: Just add water!
The pitfalls of college life are numerous and varied. Timeless questions loom over the head of each new student as he or she arrives on campus, threatening to derail the young Boilermaker from the tracks of success: How much partying is too much? Do companies really care about GPA? That FAFSA thing- that wasn't important, was it? And those tricky Stewart Center doors, with identical handles on both sides- push or pull? I don't know, don't yell at me.
Perhaps the most nefarious of threats to the uncorrupted engineering mind is
that nocturnal activity that lurks in the distant memory of the seasoned engineer-
sleep. It gobbles up priceless hours and interferes with studies, sending your
per hour productivity average down the drain. But you need not fight this battle
alone! Retail shelves have been blessed with an ingenious new product. Looks
like water- tastes like water- smells like water. But this H2O has
been kissed by the caffeine gods, the deity of diuretics, the almighty alkaloid-
C8H10N4O2. Yes, our prayers have
been answered: someone is marketing caffinated water under the name "Water
JoeTM". Here are a few simple ideas to maximize the potential
of this amazing product.
- Any 'just add water' pancake mix can become the true breakfast of champions when the magic elixir Water JoeTM is added in place of lame old tap water.
- Imagine coffee and teas that were caffinated before you even added the flavoring!
- Those staples of college frugality, Ramen noodles and rice, can now give you a boost of bottled energy!
- Own a RONCO food dehydrator? Revive those apples, strawberries, bananas and apricots with Water JoeTM for a fruit salad with bite.
- Fill your ice cube tray with Water JoeTM so you can cool down any drink without diluting its caffeine power.
- For the traditionalist who never liked Mountain Dew on Lucky Charms, simply buy a box of powdered milk at your local grocery store and voila! Caffeine-enhanced milk to make any breakfast cereal 'magically delicious.' Same goes for any juice concentrate: orange juice, apple juice, lemonade- the possibilities are endless.
