Oriental Trading Company

I've been getting huge catalogs from The Oriental Trading Company for several months now. I have no idea how they got my name and address, but I sure am thankful! Without those catalogs, I'd have no idea how much cheap plastic junk is out there for which I have no use! In all fairness, there must be some needs getting fulfilled by these products because the company has been in business for quite some time. SOMEBODY has to manufacture the disappointing school carnival prizes that break after three days' use, right? Otherwise, how could organizations capitalize off of youngsters' misplaced hopes?

Here's a quick tour of some of the more interesting products I've seen in the OTC inventory...

Keep dry and cool with this stylish umbrella hat.
Great gift idea for people with no arms!

What's more clever than the timeless whoopie cushion?
A whoopie cushion with a smiley face on it! A new take on this highbrow classic.

If you find the soulless stares and gaping, blood-colored mouths
of these tiny gingerbread men unsettling, simply rub their little heads on paper
until they're nothing more than discolored stumps. But be prepared to sleep
with one eye open thereafter... 144 gingerbread men is close to an army.

An assortment of popular characters like "Bandwagon", "Fad",
and "Gross commercialization of a rich culture."

Why do these frogs look so happy?

For a mere $7.95, you can send this mass-produced sentiment to
TWELVE of your one-of-a-kind friends.

Tired of celebrating Independence Day with all that cumbersome dignity?
Why not dress as if you were the Mad Hatter appearing on American Gladiators?

Fill with candy or small toys, then beat the snot out of it with a broom handle
in a sanctioned frenzy of violence and greed-
and remember to smile, 'cause Jesus loves you!

GROAN! Need I say more?

Anyone else disturbed by the fact that this clown appears to be wearing no pants?
Is he squatting on a zany little clown toilet?

When the domesticated animals take over the world, you can bet these three will be leading the charge. And any human who bought these atrocities will suffer consequences much worse than urine-soaked slippers.

Ok, I have to admit these look like fun. But who thinks this stuff up, honestly???

What exactly does a tiny pipe wrench keychain say about a person?

Boy, all those SETI people sure would freak out if they knew that beings
from other planets were available right here, and in assorted metallic colors, no less!

Obscure your child's vision and frighten her playmates with these
festive one-antlered, three-eyed reindeer glasses.

This model managed to smile even while wearing this heinous headgear-
this is definitely a shot to include in her portfolio.

This holiday season, lick St. Nick's face until you can no longer fight the
urge to grind his cranium to a messy red pulp between your molars.

If the Jesus pinata didn't ease enough of your aggression,
you can slam your fist repeatedly into the smiley face and familiar phrase
"Smile, Jesus loves you!" with these punch balls.

These are terrific for that underestimated market of Jesus-endorsed
Chinese restaurants. Jesus loves you almost as much as he loves sweet 'n' sour pork!

Are they talking about the product or their target consumers?
It's almost too easy...