Consumer Alerts!
Does this website have any socially redeeming value?
Well, that's debatable. But if it does, it's probably on this page, where I do my best to save you from the traumas I've experienced in the sordid world of the grocery store. Here I document and prove that the business of product packaging is a Machiavellian one indeed.
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Imagine that you're heading back to school after a short visit home, and as you begin the five hour drive, you stop at your local Food Town grocery store to pick some crunchy munchy 'keep me awake' prezel rods. Only $1.39, what a great deal! And so easy to hold while driving. As you cruise along the Ohio turnpike, you get that hankering for a pretzel
rod. Keeping both eyes on the road, you open the bag and reach inside to
wrap your fingers around one. |
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You're baffled and dismayed to find that you have
to reach deep inside the bag to find a pretzel. How could you have
broken ALL of them between the grocery store shelf and your battered
but beloved Dodge Daytona??? Sneaking a peak inside the bag, you see
that all the ends are intact... what's going ON here??? go on |
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I'll tell you what's going on. Food Town actually
made these pretzel 'rods' just tall enough to reach past the
clear window part of their packaging, thereby giving the ILLUSION
of respectable pretzel rods. The rest of the bag was filled with cheaper,
but less satisfying, air. How do these people sleep at night?? Tell me more! |
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Everyone deserves a sweet indulgence once in a
while, right? As a lover of all things lemony, this Pet Ritz Home
Style Lemon Cream Pie was particularly mouthwatering, so I picked
it up from my grocer's freezer, noting with approval the 'Quality
since 1921' seal by the brand name. go on |
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Imagine my surprise when I opened the flimsy cardboard
box to find that there was no type of inner wrapping. Just a pie.
In a box. And the pie did not fare too well, as you can see. Carefully
comparing my pie with the fluffy, creamy, attractive piece of pie
pictured on the box, I came to the conclusion that their 'Quality
since 1921' claim did not include their packaging department. go on |
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My pie was really in pretty sorry shape... a good deal of its crust, the
very backbone of any pie, literally what holds it together, was stuck to
the inside of the woefully inadequate cardboard box. It was a sad sight
for any graham cracker crust connoisseur. More! |
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Ok, this one wasn't really the result of misleading packaging or stupidity
on the part of the packaging team... on the part of the baker, perhaps...
:-) I'd just like to alert you to the fact that even if the box of angel
food cake doesn't specifically say "leave several inches of clearance
above your Bundt cake pan," you should do so anyway. I only wish I'd
had another hand so that when I slid the top, cake-consumed rack out of
the oven, I could have photographed the suspended cake in the few seconds
it hung from said rack. next |
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Once again, not the fault of the makers of this ham, who happen to be Hillshire Farms. But be forewarned! If your fridge has wire racks, as well as produce drawers in the bottom, it's entirely possible that a slenderly shaped food, like, oh I don't know, Deli Select Smoked Ham, could fall between the wires of the shelf and behind a produce drawer while it's open. And it could, in theory, remain there a very long time. And it also could look like this when it's finally discovered, as compared to a new package of the same thing. |
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If you see a box of ice cream cones and think, "Wow,
what a great treat that would be after a hot day in the Maine summer sun!"
you should probably check the number of cones packed into that small box.
but why? |
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Because when they say "Kid Size," they're not kidding... like
Cabbage Patch Kid size. Yes, that is a normal size can of soup. What could be next? |
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Mmmm, tasty Jose Ole Mexi-minis. Beef & Cheese Mini Taquitos
should make a dectable snack! But...? |
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AGAIN with the packaging department!! Come on people, seriously. How hard can it be to wrap my crispy little beef 'n' cheese delights in a bit of celophane??? next |
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The box should read: Shredded Beef and Cheddar Cheese in a Cripsy Corn Tortilla - Satisfy Your Craving for Freezer Burn! |
Enough of this! Take me back to Shannonigans